In a few days our children will be officially on vacation. Gone are the days of homework and study, which have been especially intense in recent weeks to close the course. The high point of the school year arrives in which the students receive their grades and as I have been able to hear in some WhatsApp groups (one finds out too many things there) there are parents who punish their children for bringing bad grades .
Some parents punish their children by forbidding things that the child likes, or leaving them without certain “privileges” such as going to summer camp or a birthday. We are talking about children in the primary stage, so we are talking about children between 6 and 12 years old, an age in which motivation instead of punishment is essential for children to succeed in any field, including studies.
Why are punishments useless?
The grades are the result of a whole year of work, I don’t think that numerical grades are an effective way of evaluating children either , but they are still there in most schools. For parents who have been moderately involved throughout the year, the final grades are not a surprise. Most already know where the shots come from and a drastic decision cannot be made punishing the child on vacation when during the year nothing was done to help him.
The child cannot be blamed exclusively for a result in which probably everyone, both parents, teachers and the child, has their share of responsibility .
Punishment is not effective for bad grades, or for any situation in which our children do not achieve a goal. Because what we want is for them to learn from their mistakes and improve themselves. What matters to us as parents is not having children who get straight A’s, but children who understand the value of effort , right?
By reacting negatively, with anger or yelling, the child thinks that he is only valued for his school performance .
Just as I don’t think they should be rewarded with material gifts for passing, I don’t think the punishment is effective for failing either.
On vacation they need to rest
With summer camp time approaching , some parents feel that it’s an undeserved reward for their children when they haven’t been able to pass their subjects throughout the year.
We must not forget that it is their vacation, and although the grades have not been favorable, the children need a time of rest and fun with their friends .
There is time for everything. You don’t have to martyr them. Forbidding him to go to a camp, a birthday or a party will not change the situation and instead the child will feel misunderstood by his parents. The only thing we get is for him to close down and walk away from us .
How to act without punishing them?
As parents, we have to reflect on what has not worked well this course. It will be necessary to rethink what the weak points are, where it is necessary to reinforce and help them to review those contents that perhaps they have not understood well.
Maybe the child has gone through some situation that has distracted him from his studies, maybe the organization of tasks fails or he can’t concentrate and there may be a problem behind… We should not stop at a result, but go further to be able to help them. Here it is important to talk to your teachers, who can help us identify possible problems.
On the other hand, communication between parents and children is the key and, of course, making pacts . You will have to make some kind of agreement that does not imply the prohibition of enjoying your days off, but that you spend time reinforcing content. The time that is dedicated must be in accordance with the child’s age, as well as the activities that they carry out.
For the older ones, you can establish a revision schedule during the summer. During the mornings, for example, it is usually the best time for family organization. For the little ones, it may be enough to read or play games in which they practice concentration, attention or mathematical reasoning. Not everything is chips, there are many ways to learn in a fun way.
It is important to let them know that we love them much more than the grades they bring at the end of the course . And that is a daily job in which affection and perseverance are the basis of success.